Healing a broken heart
HEALING A BROKEN HEART
Though this article primarily deals with relationships (the boyfriend girlfriend type 
) it is applicable to other types of relationships too. I genuinely wish after reading this article, you are much more at peace with yourself and the situation as such.
Many a time we are confounded and confused by peoples behavior.
When we were so nice to them, how could they behave this way?
How can one be so selfish when all I did was think about their welfare?
When I was so sincere in my love for him/her, how could he/she have acted like that?
I think everyone goes through instances like this in their lives, when the hurt is so great that life no longer seems worth living. It seems to make the best sense to become hard hearted and trust no one because the world is a cruel one. The fact is when you do this; you give the negative event a lot more importance than it deserves and most importantly drive away people who genuinely care for you as you have become hard from the inside. I have repeated to the point of boredom that all I am writing about has either happened to me or it has happened to someone so close to me that I was able to see and learn a lot from it. None of it is nice sounding theory.
(I want to make myself clear. In the following paragraphs in no way am I am trying to portray myself as the ideal person or the other person as someone heartless. I just tell you the incidents from my side)
When I was actually in love with a girl, I suddenly get news from my friend abroad. (Yes, there was friction between us occasionally but not in my wildest dreams was I prepared for that I was about to hear). He calls up and says “ hey mate! What happened? Your girlfriend is asking me ideas for one night stands here and tips on dating!” That really hurt badly. On top of this there was no way I could contact her. She would slam down the phone when she heard my voice. Till this day no explanation given as to what prompted her to take such a drastic step.
As an icing on the cake, she patched up with someone else who was downright cruel to her. I would not want to go into the details but when I stop to think about all this, sadness gave way to wonder. Wonder about the workings of the universe. Now on hindsight, I realized that it was one of the best things that happened to me. Many of us have faced such circumstances. Now the important point. How do we come out of such things and get our life back on track and more importantly proceed to attract pleasant events?
1) Accept and believe that the universe many a time gives us lessons which we ignore. I can tell you so many instances wherein the person KNEW that the relationship was NOT going to work but still in blind unreasonable expectation proceeded in the hope that it would SOMEHOW pan out. Those feelings that you get, those hunches that you get, those particularly unpleasant events that occur are all signals from the universe telling you to take a closer look. Yes, it is hard to accept things and act on it. But what would you prefer? The temporary inconvenience and heartache or long time permanent suffering. In my case I got many signs from the universe. I made the same mistake and paid the price. Its my humble suggestion that you keep a look out for signs and events. Believe me, when you keep your eyes and ears open, you receive a lot more feedback and make a lot fewer mistakes.
2) What if the first step did not happen? I did not get any signs you say. Though strange you can still make amends. You must have implicit faith in the workings of the universe. Let me tell you its not easy, it is a tall order. Allow yourself to wallow in pleasant grief for some time. After all we all treasure THOSE nice times we had with that someone special right? Thinking about them indeed makes us feel loved and special. Tell yourself that all happened for a higher cause which you may not be able to fathom right away but which makes perfect sense nevertheless. In other words, forcing things to work is not going to get you anywhere. Belief that there is someone out there who would make you far happier is the key to attracting that person. How? Because a thought clearly conceived and believed in will make it a reality. I don’t say this. Its told by the greatest author on success, Dr Napoleon Hill.
3) Develop your talents that you have. This is different from just DISTRACTING yourself to forget things which is what many advise. Take it a step further. When I had the breakup happen to me, since I was going through so much pain, I discovered that I could put my thoughts down really well. I focused on that and got an offer to write lyrics for a Hindi album, six songs in all, I received a good sum of money and it made me feel great. Often in times of reflection, you get a much closer peek at yourself. Now that is priceless.
4) Practice forgiveness and gratitude. Am I crazy? How can you thank someone who has caused you so much pain? Do consider this point if its fits into your belief system. Since I believe in spirituality I believe in past accounts. Everyone comes in your life for a reason. If someone caused you joy or suffering, you were the chief cause behind that though the cause cannot be seen. You thank the person because he/she redeemed you of your account. As I have said in my previous articles, if you do not have a past account, there is NO PERSON OR EVENT in the world who can give you any kind of suffering. And here is another wonderful thing. When you forgive a person, you do not do him a favor. You do yourself a big favor as you free yourself of the negative energy cycle. That person will anyway have to repay it back some day FOR SURE. The HOW and WHEN is not our concern. When you have a lot of animosity and anger, its pretty tough to attract pleasant things. Why then do you have to hold on to such feelings? Does it make sense? When you are grateful and I mean really grateful, you start seeing the silver lining. You start seeing that person as a launch pad to a much happier future.
These four steps have personally helped me immensely; may I ask you to go through this article more than once? I am sure that it would make more sense. In fact as I write this I feel genuine gratitude and warmth for the person who caused me so much grief. . She came into my life for a reason and left for a reason. I cannot stop thanking her. It can be the same with you too.
