Justifying the wrong things
JUSTIFYING THE WRONG THINGS
Justifying what we do is inherent in human nature. Seldom do we proclaim ” Yes I am wrong and I need to change/ i need to do this differently” For quite some time now I have been observing a pattern with people and many a time even myself. We tend to do something that we dont wish to do and later we justify it. The problem with this approach is that it robs us of delightful experiences which are rightfully ours.
For example a lady whom I know baby sits her sons daughter. She being intellectually very competent obviously does not derive much joy doing things like this day in and day out. When I suggest that she must at least ACCEPT the fact that she deserves something better and then seek out means to keep herself gainfully occupied in a manner that would give her peace and a lot of satisfaction, she dismisses my words saying that at least she has a comfortable roof and shelter.
Many of my friends too who were working in corporate jobs used to tell me ( I was in the HR department) how empty they used to feel when they turned up for work everyday. When I suggested that they be bold and courageous they were not able to let those words sink into them. That was a time when i left my corporate job to become a singer. Amusingly they were envying me that I had the courage to do what I did.
They were the same guys who told me that although I hate my job I at least have the money to pay my bills. Talk about a meaningful way to live.
Why do we justify things like these though we in our heart of hearts know it is pure bullcrap?
Past conditioning is a reason we buy into the beliefs of our parents and so called well wishers so strongly that over a period of time we are not able to see any other way things can possibly be. This is how life is!! You tell yourself. To look beyond defined frontiers requires first:-
a) An open mind - To agree that there are others who were worse off than you and are living lives in totally different ways
b) Courage - To formulate a plan of action and move towards what you want rather than donning the Oh! I feel so helpless and sad cloak.
c) A closed mind - Towards people who tend to think very differently from you do.
If you still are finding it difficult to combat your own self doubt in the light of what they have said the following is very effective:-
a) Ask yourself if they people who have advising you have made it outrageously successful in life.
b) If no, you know the answer. If yes sincerely question yourself if you would also be happy doing the same things and leading the same life. No two people are alike and what feels great to you might feel atrocious to him
If you conscientiously follow these two steps believe me it would save you a lot of trouble heart ache and time.
And yes coming back to the title of our topic. Listen to your inner voice, It guides you through feelings. Deeply question yourself and see if you are justifying the wrong things. Avoid them as that paves way for spending the maximum moments of your life with enjoyment.
