IS THIS RELATIONSHIP THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU?

So many books exist on relationships and the dynamics of making them work. Many are based on extensive research - my heartfelt appreciation to those who have endeavoured to spread happiness by focussing on this very important aspect of humanity. This article however does not focus on complicated aspects of relationships. It is my (and many others whom I know) experience that there are certain key aspects that you can take into account which would help you decide for yourself whether your relationship is worth it.

Sometimes taking a simple approach can give a lot of clarity. I feel quite sure that after reading this you would be in a much better position to see where your relationship is taking you. At the very least you will know where you are heading even if you are not able to stop it

INTELLECTUAL COMPATIBILITY:

Do not get me otherwise. I do not mean to say that if you know Belgian politics your mate must know its intricacies to correct you. By intellectual compatibility the main thing I mean is the potential your mate has to understand the point you are trying to get across (not just intellectually) and vice versa. This sentence is much deeper than it seems. I had a relationship which was fun but somehow I felt that though my partner was hearing what I was saying, the point was somehow not being conveyed. This is something that is not very tangible but it CAN be felt. She was listening to it but in fact was just going through the motions. In the same vein I had another friend with whom I could just about discuss anything. It was such an uplifting feeling talking to him. We used to go to the terrace everyday and talk for hours and yet look forward to the next day wherein we would spend time with each other. There was humour, there was serious talk and yes there were differences of opinion too. But at the end of it all, it felt so lovely and light after a session with him. This is very important because I have had feelings like this with more than one person (Do not mean to say that they are potential partners, just roped them in to get across a point). In the same vein there have been people with whom I have felt bored with despite their great looks. Not casting aspersions on them that they were boring. It is just that I did not really look forward to their company. Cant think of a better way to put it.

When I was in my teens I was not able to get it but now I realise that that as years go by one needs a person with whom one can talk and share many things with. After the initial flush of love and beauty wears off, It is emotional attachment that keeps a couple together. And intellectual compatibility (IC) goes a long way in strengthening emotional attachment. Why? Because when IC is not present the number of things you can share with your partner is limited. There is a stifling feeling that grips you time and again. Over time boredom sets in and boredom can very quickly eat into the woodwork of intimacy. In my opinion though other aspects like fidelity, sexual compatibility are critical, IC must be present for a flourishing relationship.

GIVING BEAUTY MORE THAN ITS FAIR SHARE OF IMPORTANCE:

I would not want to go very deep into this point as it is quite obvious. There are so many who commit this mistake only to regret later. Beauty is definitely a plus point. It is important to know that it takes just a year or two for it to fade off (I mean for the other spouse). Another offshoot of this is possessiveness. There was this girl whom I know married a guy coz he looked good. She was first kinda apathetic to him but when she knew that other girls were vying for him; it became more a prestige symbol for her as it was SHE that the guy was interested in. Small stuff. Do not fall into this trap.

DOMINATING BEHAVIOUR:

Gone are the days when women would be in the kitchen, the men folk would come home and would be served dinner and mostly it would be the wife who would take care of the household and children. It is so appreciable that the fairer sex is now so independent and very rightly so. Personally I am not an advocate of any individual having talents within and suppressing them just for the sake of marriage or any other reason. I have seen soooooo many marriages wherein the husband starts dominating and forcing his wishes much to the disillusionment of his spouse. The point is are you ok with this? Is your spouse giving indications that pursuing what you love in life is not ok? Mere INDICATIONS tell enough. Rest assured it will amplify after marriage. Take time off to think, consult people and clarify things before tying the knot. DONT repent later.
This is not only for the women folk. I recently was in a relationship where the girl was extremely dominating and was not amenable to reason at all. She would close her ears when attempts at sorting out matters would be made. At first I dismissed it as childish behaviour (how childish I was ! Over time it gave me a feeling of suffocation. Immaterial of whether you are right or wrong what is the use if your partner cannot hear you out? Believe me this point is far more profound than it appears here. Needless to say we broke up. This is NOT an allegation against her or anything of that sort. Perhaps I did not come across as a guy to whom she could sort out things with. Whatever the case may be we were not meant to be together. So in a nutshell be very wary whenever you see dominating streaks in your potential spouse. They would invariably assume much bigger proportions after marriage.

LEVITY AND THE LIKE:

Who wants to be serious tell me? If anyone answers in the affirmative only two reasons are possible. One, he has got so used to being in this state that any other state seems to be alien and uneasy to him or two, he is a masochist in a mild form. It is very very very (need I add another very?) important to share your life with someone who sees the lighter side of life, takes things sportively and makes you laugh. After marriage there are enough challenges to deal with. The last thing you want is to get into a situation where your spouse constantly is in a sour mood. There is another aspect to this. There are some people who are very gay and happy with others but are not so at home. Be careful to look into these dual personality types too. This becomes all the more irritating because you see how good he/she is with outsiders whereas you put up with all the nonsense.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION:

It is very necessary to have somebody to whom you feel physically attracted to. The physical aspect of marriage is important too.

DOUBLE STANDARDS:

There are people who expect you to behave in a certain way but they do not keep up to those standards. For e.g. they expect punctuality but many a time never keep up their time. When they become angry they take the liberty of shouting all sorts of things, but when you are incensed you are expected to exercise control. I think you get the point. Having seen behaviour like this from close quarters I can vouch for the fact that you WILL be miserable eventually in such a relationship. Keep away from such people like the plague.

FORGIVENESS:

If your partner is not able to let bygones be bygones and constantly brings up past issues, you need to take a closer look. Having viewed such incidents with family and friends, I can tell you with certainty that this is a recipe for a break up. Such people do not forgive easily and their behaviour is vexing. I am not getting emotional here but sorely want to convey to my readers that this attitude CANNOT be overlooked. You are much better off having this person as just a friend or even better, an acquaintance.

HEEDING SIGNALS:

The best is reserved for the last.. Even if one were to give you an exhaustive check list of things to look for, nothing beats this point! The reason because this assumes so much importance is due to the fact that it is wholly centred and focussed towards you and it goes beyond merely analytic left brain thinking. Almost in all the relationships I have seen and of course those that have happened to me too, I have found a startling revelation.
At some point in time, there is this inner voice in you that tells you he/she is not the one for you. It comes as a nudge, a feeling that cannot be told in words. Very often we override that, we give in to reasons like :

So what! Does not everybody have pluses and minuses?
The point here is not about pluses and minuses, the point here is whether that package is ok with you for a lifetime)

If I let go of her I may never be able to find another one to love

This logic again is based on ignorance. Once you learn about the law of attraction, you will come to know that you attract what you focus on in your life more particularly when you do it with detachment. Reading about this and becoming a student of this science has many a time saved me from falling into despondency and hopelessness. It will act like a sheet anchor for you too helping you let go of the unwanted and attracting the wanted. To start with you can go through those sites mentioned in the left hand side below the RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS tab. Another fabulous site is www.learnmindpower.com

Whatever be the logic you give yourself, the point I am making is this. To repeat, you DO get inner nudges, a realisation that can come that he is NOT the one for you (after certain incidents that have happened between both of you). When you sit down calmly and heed that voice, you will never go wrong. Another good thing is that you would get repeated nudges from within and it is seldom a one time event. It is only when we choose to avoid everything that we land ourselves in a mess. A friend of mine told me that all the justifications we give ourselves are voices of the brain trying to MAKE things work out somehow. This is not filmy talk but our heart when listened to with an attitude of respect and poise never lets us down. Has this been the scene in my relationships too you may wonder? Well, Absolutely!!!!! Always was!

NIGHT DREAMS! THE KEY TO A MORE AWARE LIFE?

If you have been even remotely interested in the subconscious and its working, chances are high that you would have come across articles about dreams. As I always only write what I experience, I would like to share something very interesting with my readers that could benefit them immensely.

In my experience dreams occur as the result of more than one reason. One reason is you are constantly thinking about something and wanting to have it. The subconscious vicariously fulfills the need in a dream. When I was 17 years old I badly wanted to get into a particular college (though that was not my true passion) as it was considered a prestige symbol and a sign of settling down in life. I constantly deliberated over how my life would unfold financially when I get into it. Many a time in the night I would have a dream of getting an admission letter. Eventually I did not make it. There was a tinge of sadness but I very soon put that behind me and thought of an alternate career (one of the signs that it was not my calling in life )

Another reason dreams might occur is when the subconscious wants to shock us into telling us to pay heed to something we are ignoring. The ways it does it is quite strange and fascinating. Seldom does it convey the same literally. It conveys it through people that can be reflective of parts of you. For example if there is someone you know you are doing an injustice to and in a dream, there is a fight and you die. For some reason you feel a sense of elation and NOT fright, it could signify an end to the cruel part of you. Do remember that all the characters in the dream represent parts of you in most cases. I cannot give a percentage here as the background and experiences people come from is as wide as the Atlantic ocean.
Let me share something very interesting. In the place where I originally was, there was a creeping sense of un-fulfillment and dissatisfaction. I wanted to go to a place where there were better opportunities but held myself back as I had invested five years in this place and leaving meant sacrificing quite some benefits that would come to me. I was at my wits end not knowing what to do.

One night I had a dream that went as follows. I am in my flat and the whole apartment started moving. At first it seemed pleasant but then the whole building started moving round and round at an alarming speed. I was petrified knowing that the building would soon collapse. I got up heart beating fast. The dream was dismissed but I had the same dream two more times. All three times, the same sequence, the same fear gripped me.
Having read a lot about the subconscious, I sat down and analyzed what it was trying to tell me. It then struck me in a flash. By staying in the same place, I was just going round and round and making no progress. My foundation in life was possibly getting weakened as time was going by and I was getting stuck in a rut. It all seemed so surreal. It was then that a firm decision to move out was made.

Another dream that I have had the most number of times is my going to an exam and not doing well in it. This is important. It is not that I saw myself incapable of doing it well. But rather I have all the time to prepare in the world but I fritter it away and in the last moment get panicky and feel very very bad that an opportunity which could have been made use of was wasted. This dream obviously related to facets of life where I was taking it easy and not putting in the right amount of planning and effort.

An interesting sequel was that when I practiced my music well, I would have the same dream wherein I do the exam well. This could be thought of as a kind of confirmation that what I deciphered was indeed accurate. After I moved out of my place, the building dream (mentioned above) stopped too.

If you are really keen on getting help from a higher source there are four things that you can do. These steps have helped me immensely in resolving nagging issues. It might do the same for you too.

• The first thing is buy a tape recorder and record your dreams in it. It is far easier to do this than to write your dreams down. This is because you can be in the dream like state and keep recording whereas while writing you come out of the reverie and might forget parts of the dream. Nevertheless if you dont have a recorder, it is ideal to start writing your dreams down. Over a period of time you start remembering more and consequently jotting down more.

• The second thing is be on the lookout for any similar patterns that might come up. An example in my case could be the apartment going round and round in one dream, I myself running round and round and not able to stop and feeling bad about it in another. Once you start this process you send a signal to your inner mind that you are indeed serious about listening to it and it would show you more and more insights.

• Third is after you have done the above for around ten nights or so sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes and think about what is being told to you. Preferably do this just after your afternoon nap or just after you get up from bed in the morning. These are the times you are connected closely to your inner mind. If at first you dont get any insights dont worry. Your inner mind WILL reveal the same to you if you are persistent. Jot down these insights and decide what you are going to do about them. And do it. For example when I got the dream where I was failing in exams, I realized I was not paying attention to my music and decided to act on that.

• Lastly pay attention to whether your dreams are changing, whether the same unpleasant dream is giving way to a more pleasant one. If that is so, you can rest assured that you are on the right track. If not keep asking your inner mind what it is trying to say. As I said, answers WILL come.
Very soon you will realize that you are being guided by a higher power and answers (which you otherwise may have no way of knowing) to many puzzling questions are being answered. Think of the benefits that can accrue to you. You would save many precious years and get much better solutions to issues that might be plaguing you. Most importantly a sense of calm would prevail when you know that you have an invisible means of support by your side.

I rest assured that you have given a deep thought to the first seven errors people commit albeit unknowingly. After having contemplated it deeply you could proceed to read the next 7 mistakes that can block your success.

SMART PERSEVERANCE

Note what I just wrote. It is all well to go after what you want and keep struggling and struggling. And you know full well that perseverance is important in getting you what you want. Perseverance without a focus would only drain and discourage you. So the way out is again a simple word that has already been mentioned in the last line. FOCUS. When your focus is like a laser beam, incidental things fall by the wayside. When that happens your perseverance is well worth it. That is around the minimum you must wait to get what you want.
An example to clarify things? I know of so many people who keep losing and gaining weight much to their chagrin. Yet the top models know that your body can be completely transformed in just 90 days time. 90 DAYS!! With the right diet, exercise and mindset of course. So your perseverance in sticking with the plan is only for ninety days. Then you are on auto pilot. Compare this to the time millions take. Years!! And yet no stunning results.
Point driven home?

IGNORING FEEDBACK

There are many who keep doing the same thing over and over again with the hope of getting something different. In some cases it may be true, but you must learn to trust your intuition and not lock yourself in the one solution paradigm.
There is a friend of mine in the industry who wanted to sing with a music director who was doing well at that point of time. He used to wait at his doorstep day and night in the hope that one day his dream would come true. He did the same for nearly a decade. A DECADE!!! That Is a long long time. While I admire his perseverance, I do feel that he has missed out on numerous opportunities to make a mark. The perseverance quotient is great but since feedback was ignored, he lost out on precious time. No wonder he is embittered today. The mistake was that he thought that there was only ONE way to become famous and that was through that music director. There are other routes that he could have taken. To name a few:
a) approaching other music directors
b) Finding out what is the unique value he can give
c) Cutting an album by himself that showcases what his specialties are
d) developing other talents than singing that would increase his marketability value.
NOT BEING CREATIVE
This is another error that people make. If you look at phenomenally successful people in any field, you would find nearly all of them have offered something in the market that was not there before. Something new, something novel. They filled a need. So the point I intend making is that if you want to be phenomenally successful, make a resolution that you will offer something fresh and creative. This very resolution will propel you to act in ways different from the masses and increase the chances of success immeasurably.

BEING PRONE TO NEGATIVE INFLUENCES

I know you folks are familiar with this but it is so important that it warrants repetition. This point is perhaps the most important of them all. It can kill the toughest spirit over time. If you listen to negative people, they will show you all the evidence as to why you cannot succeed and that it is not worth it. Over time it eats into your confidence like a virulent bug. Remember they may all sound very logical and valid. It is all TOTALLY unfounded. Want proof?
Fifty years ago if you were to tell a cynic that in some time from now, there would be an instrument that is smaller than the size of your palm without any wires that can make you speak to your loved ones not just hundreds but thousands of miles away, your sanity would be questioned. Now it is a way of life. There are so many such examples that can be given.

NOT KEEPING ONESELF MOTIVATED CONSTANTLY

Lets face it. We all run into periods wherein we feel life is not worth living anymore and when all this struggle would end. The secret (no big one at that) is to dwell on the delightful things that would be yours once you achieve your dream. Make a mini script for yourself that elaborates on the glorious details as to how your day and eventually your life would unfold when you actually get there. Watch videos of people who have done what you have wanted to do so that you see an actual movie of what it is that you desire.

NOT HAVING A STRONG ENOUGH REASON/S

I tell this with personal experience. Unless you have a strong enough WHY, you will be discouraged by the HOW! It is only when you have the WHY firmly in place will you get the courage and perseverance to do the requisite things. Else there is a good chance of your giving up when the going starts to get rocky. This WHY list is your sacred shrine, your safety net that would catch you whenever you get lost in the depths of despair and hopelessness.

NOT PRACTICING THE EXERCISE OF GRATITUDE

It is very important from a metaphysical standpoint to be genuinely grateful for every small good thing that comes your way. As regards this point, there are people who have written about this topic much better than I can hope to. I shall quote them exactly
Broadly these are the fourteen mistakes that people make when they go in search of their passion. Rest assured that by not succumbing to these, you are bound to see success.

This topic is one of those closest to my heart and i put in serious effort in bringing it into this form. Having trodden this path most of my life, I feel I can offer so much in this regard. Without much fluff, here are a few mistakes if I might so call them to avoid, if you want to go after (and achieve) your dreams.

Not knowing what your dream is in the first place

The great Napoleon Hill had mentioned that a great percentage of people actually do not know what it is that they TRULY want. If this is your problem, I recommend that you buy a book called the SILVA MIND CONTROL METHOD FOR GETTING HELP FROM YOUR OTHER SIDE. Its truly an incredible book for enlisting support from your right brain hemisphere. There is a section on how you can tune into your intuition and get the answer from deep within so as to find out what your passion is. In case your one of those lucky individuals who knows what exactly his/her dream is, the following would help you immeasurably.

Thinking and totally believing the common mindset that you are not destined to be great

I tell you, this one might seem odd. I do not know much about other countries but in India this belief is a rampant one. I see so many people flocking to astrologers and the like in the quest to know what is in store for them. I do believe that astrology is based on science and yes there have truly been remarkable predictions that have come true. But why do we not look at the other side of it? There have been so many predictions regarding me that have never come to pass. Keeping all this in mind, I can safely tell you all never hand over your future to another person TOTALLY no matter how deeply they may have your interests at heart.
The last sentence might infuriate some. You cannot just afford to hand over something so magnificent (YOU) to another person. You are unique. You are the only one who knows what your desires are, what your goals are, what your deepest desires are!! Nobody else does! There ARE ALWAYS going to be ups and downs in life. Handing yourself over to someone else!! Do you realize how much you are telling yourself how weak and incapable you are? What a puppet you consider yourself to be?

Not really taking up responsibility

This is another mindset that needs to be eradicated from your psyche. It is so easy to tell others what a harsh hand life dealt on you. It feels nice to be pitied and have others say what happened was totally unfair, you deserve so much more, you are much better than xyz. I understand. I have been there too. But let me tell you that when time passes by and you see how others so much less talented than you are living far grander lives, all the pity that others have showered on you is not going to be worth even a rats tail. Neither are they going to compensate you in any way for your talent.
Keep in mind that more often than not, it is not the people with the best looks, or the most talent who make it big, but rather the ones who get the best in life are the ones who ask for it and go after it. So when they go after it regardless of what others say, it naturally means they have taken up full responsibility for their lives. I understand. You may not be in a position to go for your dreams now because of your various commitments. But adopting this mindset and drilling the fact into your psyche that I am responsible for what I get in life will make a sea change. Your attitude shifts from passive to active, from reactive-ness to pro-activeness , from a victim mentality to a conquering one. Are you getting the difference?
This will propel you to seek ways and means of making your life heaven on earth (more on the subconscious mind later). It will make your intentions clearer and more focused and directed and thereby your actions crisper, more meaningful and satisfying.

Believing in the I HAVE FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS thingie

This is so pervasive that it demands a separate point. When you make it your intention to earn money by providing value, more will flow to you. Do read this sentence again and again because most people believe something totally different. They feel that somehow if they can lay hands on some very high paying job, they would work there till they are X years old and then leave it to actually do what they want. Nothing really criminal about this. The fact is very few people ever get to doing this and when they finally do it, all sorts of beliefs crop up. To name a few:
1. I think I am a little old now, the field is for youngsters.
2. I have enough money now, why venture into something new
3. What if I fail? Why make myself the laughing stock?
4. I have quite a bit and there are so many others who do not even have this much. I must learn to be satisfied with my lot
If some of you are thinking that your mind will not come up with such excuses think again. When we go to sleep at night so many of us are confident we would get up early and then do some brisk exercise but for many of us, it rarely happens. The mind is a marvel at convincing you to be in the comfort zone. For a thing like getting up in the morning that requires only a fraction of the effort (as compared to going after your dreams) when you can be convinced, well!! You get the picture.
So the solution is keep your eyes and ears open for any avenue where you feel you can provide value to people. I provide value through my website by inspiring many people and giving them the best entertainment that is possible by me. This is something I love to do. Else I would not be sitting and typing for hours on end. These days with the internet covering every corner of the globe, there are opportunities aplenty. One method of earning money is blogging. You might also love to teach. You might love talking to people and help them find homes, this business is particularly popular in Bombay wherein people are shown accommodation according to their tastes. Yes there are people who also cheat, but which business does not have them? Plus there are so many internet businesses available. Check for something that you truly love to do. You might spend time zeroing on it but believe me it is time well spent.
If nothing truly strikes you, do visit www.learnmindpower.com . It has had a profound effect on my life.
Once this is done, you can take a call on how you can go after your dreams with wasting any more time. Time is priceless my friend . get there quickly.

Procrastination

I know! I know! You are bored listening to this word. Please bear with me. I shall make this as short as possible. Just visualize this:
You are in the evening of your life and suddenly you are gripped with a wave of yearning that is quite inexplicable. You either meet or see someone doing what you wanted to do who had come from a poorer background but had made it thro dint of sheer focus. The wave of yearning becomes bigger and bigger till you are hardly able to take it. Every time you think of it, there is a sadness that envelopes you when you think that might be, just might be had you not delayed and not wasted time on frivolous things, you could have gotten where you had wanted to. Time in fact just flew by and before you knew it you are in the evening of your life. Now the intention and the yearning is there, but your health and opportunities would not permit. You pass the rest of your days in silent agony and prefer not to even talk about it to anyone because the very mention of it triggers feelings so painful which you can very well do without. You die a sad man knowing that when finally you have come to believe in your purpose and are ready to do whatever it takes, your days are already over.And All that stood between what you wanted to become and what you have in fact become is perhaps just one word. PROCRASTINATION.
Nice feeling ? You decide.

Fear

When I was in college around 6 years back, I did have some friends who were exceptionally talented artistically, some in music, some in acting and some in writing. Given a choice, they would never have got into corporate jobs that they say sapped their spirit. But there was one factor that overrode everything. Fear! Fear of the unknown, fear of the temporary struggle that they would have to undergo, fear of failure, fear of what face they would have to show society. This fear can only be conquered with one ingredient. It is so important that it is worth cultivating and demands a separate article. When that is internalized, it is much easier to handle fear. Do read the subsequent article too.

Addiction to luxury

When most of us finish our education, we are brainwashed into thinking that going out and getting a job is the most logical thing to do. We do exactly that and soon get addicted to our so called comforts like the house the company provides, the fixed salary that comes every month, the status and identity we enjoy in society. If you love every aspect of your job, that is great. But let me share something with you.
In the years I have asked so many people, most of them told me that felt it was a compulsion, some were indifferent (numbed to the monotony I guess) and some have said they really loved their job. When I asked them, if you were not paid money, would you still be doing what you are doing? The answer was a resounding NO. I am a singer and I love singing. I do it just for the sheer joy of it. Yes, I do get paid, but even if people offer me a lot of money to work for someone, I would not.Helping people is my passion, I love doing that. I have extended help (unasked) to numerous people most of whom do not even remember me. I have not got a dime for it. Does not matter.So coming back to our point, you must be temporarily willing to let go of some things society considers important for you. In my opinion, the fact that you must give your value to the world, and have a thoroughly satisfying life is immeasurably more important than the luxuries that come along with doing something which feels empty for you. You will get those luxuries anyway when you make it.

LOVING YOURSELF

Many psychologists have called this by another name - self image. Namely that when you feel good about yourself, what happens is the way the world treats you changes. Darn!! Sounds like a load of gaseous feel good stuff right?

Well I beg to disagree. I have seen evidence to the contrary and thereby make this statement. For eg there have been what society might generally terms as plain Janes but who carried themselves with so much poise that people all around were attracted to them like moths to a fire. There have been others much better looking but with such pathetic dispositions that people though initially attracted to their looks gave up soon because their interior was very different from their exterior.

Loving yourself is actually a very selfish act that you do for yourself because it frees you up to do things that have been holding you back and which might possibly give you a lot of enjoyment, Enough theory said, lets get down to some real life situations and see how you can do the same.

Your boss gets nasty with you and you are constantly hauled up for poor performance. Many things to hurt you are said and you feel very dejected.

Your parents keep taunting you and comparing you with your peers and keep telling how you have not measured up to their standards
Your friends indirectly taunt you for not having a sufficient bank balance.

People make fun of you for having some disagreeable physical features.

Let me suggest some practical techniques how you can overcome these obstacles and see how you can start loving yourself. What is the big point in loving yourself anyway? Simply this! The vibrations you put out dramatically increase which serves to attract more of lifes good things to you. In an article written by one of my mentors Mr David Cameron, I read that SHAME is the emotion that has the lowest vibrational value. And there IS a significant component of shame in you when you do not love yourself.

Now for the techniques:

a) I am a big believer in EFT alternatively called the Emotional freedom technique, this involves tapping in certain energy points so that negative emotions are BROUGHT UP and RESOLVED. For more details on how to apply this technique visit www.emofree.com EFT has been known to have humongous positive benefits and its extensiveness (the variety of problems it can solve) is also impressive.

b) When you deeply get the fact that we all are equal at the grass root level and that we DO NOT HAVE TO compare ourselves with others and that we are good as we are, we let off the steam and this frees us up. You can ask yourself that if you do not love yourself WHO WILL? In one of my previous articles What is your worth I gave a profound way of looking at oneself. I humbly request you to read it and am sure that you might like it.

c) Fix a target (whoever your role model is, or whatever your objective is) and strive towards reaching it with love. When I mean with love I mean embark on the journey with complete acceptance of self. This not only makes the journey emotionally easier but also does away with the SHAME factor that only makes the journey that much tougher.

I also recommend reading the book THE POWER OF NOW. Many things related to the self are very beautifully explained.

Thats about it. I did not intend making this topic very fluffy. Just some practical solutions that you can start using right away. Nothing very fancy, nothing very esoteric, nothing monumentally tough. Do let me know what you feel after applying all these three techniques together.

SOME COMMON FAQs

The reader is first advised to read the previous article ” The process of divine apology” first before reading this. In case that strikes a chord within you feel free to delve into it deeper by reading this. If not , no stress, Feel free to skip these too.

Listed are some questions you might have to this abstract concept I was talking about in the last article. Hope reading this gives you a clearer insight into the same.

You talk about the conscience. It differs so much from person top person. Do you not feel it depends on upbringing? Some feel that it is right to kill people. Some feel that it is right to be very selfish and that you can serve god best in that way. The point is the very fact of conscience varies widely. When that be the case where does the fact of listening to your conscience assume significance?

This is a very pertinent and a relevant question. I did speak to many about it, introspected a lot and arrived at something that would hopefully clarify the point. In fact it is not that complicated. If you go by the simple rule that do unto others what you would have them done unto you, it solves a huge proportion of the cases. The problem comes when you feel you are different and they are different. Then you can argue in ways that are not that very wise. You start telling things like THESE WERE MADE FOR ME TO KILL or THESE WERE MADE FOR ME TO ENJOY, HOW DOES IT MATTER EVEN IF IT DOES SUFFER? If you would exactly regards others like you and realize we all more or less have the same feelings, you start becoming closer onto the right track.

Why should I do this and what makes you think it would give results?

I can humbly tell you that if you start taking a magnifying glass and have an overly analytical mind in spiritual matters, it might not help much. Perhaps you have come to this article and read so far because something within you has told you that you have done wrong and it needs to be rectified. Perhaps you were not very happy with what others have told you about the action reaction principle.

What happens when you do pratikraman with a sincere heart is that over a period of time the sense of wrongdoing that has gripped you slowly starts to fade away. You realize that the very nature of your being is eternal and the person or thing hurt by you was in the grand scheme of things, for a reason that is inscrutable. At least now you have realized the same and are taking corrective action in repeatedly asking for forgiveness.

And as for results I can tell you this much. When you have done wronged somebody/thing what is the ALTERNATE COURSE you have apart from seeking forgiveness? It is not that there are a 100 paths to follow and you are confused about which is right. Asking for forgiveness this way could indeed seem right after a period of time.

Assuming this works, what goes on behind the scenes?

Sorry to bore you, but it is worth repeating when I say that a hurt inflicted by you WILL have undesirable reactions. With pratikraman the intensity can be greatly reduced or even eliminated depending on how frequently you do it and how sincere you are in seeking forgiveness. Who would not want to reduce the negative force of their wrong doings?

How often do I do it?

You basically do this whenever you feel a repentance welling up in you till that incident no longer has a sting. As one of my mentors told me, its not acceptable if you have done wrong in wholesale and do pratikraman in retail. As mentioned in http://sawaal.ibibo.com/puja-and-rituals/when-must-we-pratikraman-503265.html
shoot at sight pratikraman is the ideal way wherein you ask forgiveness immediately when you have hurt someone even very slightly. That way not even an iota of negative repercussions remain over time. I leave the frequency to you.

I still do not believe this spiritual mumbo jumbo.

I fully respect your opinion. I also humbly say that there is no conclusive way to PROVE everything in this world. Some things are taken for granted and some are taken in good faith. When I was introduced to this, something clicked very deeply in me, something resonated in me, something stirred in me like never before which was why I started doing this. I share all this with you with all good intentions. Whenever this strikes a chord in you, you are welcome to try it out. Till then I shall just keep doing what I love to do namely writing what has influenced me really deeply and positively.

Warm wishes

THE PROCESS OF DIVINE APOLOGY

Hi to all! Getting back after some time to writing something that I feel very deeply about. The reason I am coming after such a gap is I could find nothing that resonated so deeply within me that I could put it down in writing to share with everyone. Something does not gel with me when I keep a target of writing 5 topics every week come what may. Churning out topics just for the heck of it sometimes does not seem to cut it. I cant tell you how much I wanted to put this topic on my site.

This topic is one thing that can sound really weird to some I warn you  . It can cut ice with you only when you perhaps get to that point wherein you experience a sort of atonement feeling that wells up within you for the wrongs you feel you have done. But but but. My purpose here is not that namely in making you feel repentant. Not by a long shot.

Being a believer in spirituality something within me kept asking ‘is there a way to escape the horrendous effects of actions committed willfully knowing they were wrong?’ I did not get the insight then, but now I feel having grievously wronged somebody/something there are effects for those which I would never want to experience. I wanted to somehow seek not just forgiveness but also become free from the repercussions of my actions.

If you have read my previous articles I have gone on to show you through some references (bonafide ones) as to how our actions MUST have their effects. I also cited an authority who explained this very phenomenon thro metaphysics. So for those of you who find that I am talking of my hat, I humbly request you to at least go through

http://www.singerjai.com/blog/?p=21

Now for the process:-

( Note :- though I have many many material desires, I am spiritually inclined. Being spiritual DOES NOT mean the absence of desires if that is what you are thinking. You can go after whatever it is that you want. There is something called a conscience within you that knows everything. You can justify your actions to the world but it knows what you are upto. This process need not be made public. Best of all it takes very little time and it does achieve results. Go thro it, I shall answer some FAQ’s that WOULD arise in ur mind in my next topic. )

Pratikraman Vidhi
(the process of divine apology)

In the live presence and witness of ——– (whichever god you believe deeply in) Oh pure Soul who are totally separate from the mind, speech, body, causal, effect and neutral karmas of ———- ( the person or thing you felt you have wronged)
I confess my mistakes (include name of the person/thing hurt by you (aalochana)**

I apologize and ask for forgiveness for these mistakes (pratikraman). I resolve firmly never to repeat these mistakes again (pratyakhyan).

Dearest ———— (your lord whom you have faith in)! Grant me the absolute energy not to commit such mistakes.

* Name of the person hurt by you.
**Recall the mistakes you committed with this person.

Pratikraman - Process of apology coupled with the remorse of any wrongdoing.
Aalochana - Heart-felt avowal and inner confession of ones guilt or misdeed.
Pratyakhyan- Sincere pledge of never slipping into the error or misdeed, once committed.

Now what exactly am I talking about? Why should you think that this gives results? What happens within when you do this? Why should you do this? These and other questions would be answered by me in my next article. You will appreciate this much better and get far better insights into this after my forthcoming article - THE SEQUEL
Love to you all

[GIVEN TO THE WORLD BY MAHAVIR BHAGWAN AND LATER ON BY AKRAM VIGNANI DADA BHAGWAN]

DONT BE SO SYSTEMATIC THAT IT HURTS YOU

Thinking about this made me so ruminative that I felt I must write something about the same and humbly throw some clarity on this entire issue. A relative of mine is extraordinarily methodical. Knows where every item of his is kept, is scrupulously clean always, cannot even stand a small speck of dust on his table or fridge, to name a few. The fact is that he prides himself on being like that and expects everyone to live up to his rigorous standards.

My friends mother sings the same tune. Not to mention I have deep respect and admiration for such people. Especially when I see people all around me being do non meticulous and shabby and haphazard in the way they do things. Always misplacing things, always searching, always not being able to find important stuff. I know it only too well because i have been there too. It is indeed very depressing and it is only too natural to admire people who are very systematic and are fanatic about the way they are in being orderly. But… Its a big but….. There are two major drawbacks I see to this approach.

A) They are seldom happy. Am I being too far reaching in telling this? I dont think so. Why? These people are obsessed about cleanliness. Examples: Remote should be kept only on the TV, they cannot be kept sideways, and their position should be facing towards the wall only. Enjoying a lovely TV program? Man! See that newspaper there? Its not folded properly with the ends correctly touching each other. Get up and set that straight. Do you see it? They become almost professional fault finders. Their attention in a major way is diverted in setting things as THEY WISH THEM TO BE. Since most people would not conform to such behavior they almost always are grumbling about how un-orderly things. As everyone who is familiar with basics of mind power knows, what you focus on grows. They focus on how wrong things are. Hence thats all they get to see most of the times. Which is of course a recipe for dissatisfaction and unhappiness

B) They are not very popular with people. People tend to think of them as dictators. Hence others go a very long way to avoid them. The reason is other people CANNOT BE THEMSELVES when such people are around. They cannot eat the way they want talk, what they want even for that limited period when they are catching up with each other, There is an air of tension and unease that hangs in the air. People are wont to think Man! I better be careful when that guy is around. Since nobody likes such an atmosphere, you seldom find such people having many friends. Many such people are loners as most people prefer having only a superficial relationship with such people. Its like they know that they are obsessed but they cannot do not do anything about it. Or cant they?

I have thought of something and have had good results with the same. Its very simple. The solution comprises of two steps :-

a) Learn to see and respect others as they are and do it honestly. If everybody thought and acted they way you do the world would be a very boring place indeed. Just imagine if someone expected you to do something you hate doing and that too constantly would he not get on your nerves? If someone is extremely shabby and you just cannot take it but he is a very nice person indeed there is absolutely no reason to cut him off from your life. You could meet at a place where such things dont matter like going to the cinema or things like that.

b) If you cannot take them out from your life ( if she is your daughter for example) strike a middle balance between what they do and what you do. Insist on keeping things back but try to refrain from getting into tiring nitty gritties as to how certain things should be. Instead of finding fault constantly demonstrate as to how being orderly has helped you and is helping you. If despite doing all these things they do not learn refrain from helping them when the need arises. Only when they bear the full fruit of their negligence will they see the truth dawn upon them. This is where I see many parents falling short. They complain but go and support their kids at every possible opportunity. If this is what they do how will they ever learn? Its a lose – lose situation for both of them. The parents always take the shock of the fall and the child continues in his own merry way.

Taking myself as an example I feel I have made huge strides in keeping things in their proper places and also not being too critical of others. Yes, I have a long way to go before I reach my moms level of preciseness in doing things ( as I explained in AVOIDING THE GRIEF OF LOSING THINGS =>
http://www.singerjai.com/blog/?p=15
but am well on track.)

This approach I feel tackles both ends. Its also an eye opener on how you can take a hard look at yourself and how being fanatical about things is costing you AND about how you can mould others the way you want TO THEIR BENEFIT with as little ill will as possible.

Wishing my readers all happiness,

JUSTIFYING THE WRONG THINGS

Justifying what we do is inherent in human nature. Seldom do we proclaim ” Yes I am wrong and I need to change/ i need to do this differently” For quite some time now I have been observing a pattern with people and many a time even myself. We tend to do something that we dont wish to do and later we justify it. The problem with this approach is that it robs us of delightful experiences which are rightfully ours.

For example a lady whom I know baby sits her sons daughter. She being intellectually very competent obviously does not derive much joy doing things like this day in and day out. When I suggest that she must at least ACCEPT the fact that she deserves something better and then seek out means to keep herself gainfully occupied in a manner that would give her peace and a lot of satisfaction, she dismisses my words saying that at least she has a comfortable roof and shelter.

Many of my friends too who were working in corporate jobs used to tell me ( I was in the HR department) how empty they used to feel when they turned up for work everyday. When I suggested that they be bold and courageous they were not able to let those words sink into them. That was a time when i left my corporate job to become a singer. Amusingly they were envying me that I had the courage to do what I did.

They were the same guys who told me that although I hate my job I at least have the money to pay my bills. Talk about a meaningful way to live.

Why do we justify things like these though we in our heart of hearts know it is pure bullcrap?

Past conditioning is a reason we buy into the beliefs of our parents and so called well wishers so strongly that over a period of time we are not able to see any other way things can possibly be. This is how life is!! You tell yourself. To look beyond defined frontiers requires first:-

a) An open mind - To agree that there are others who were worse off than you and are living lives in totally different ways

b) Courage - To formulate a plan of action and move towards what you want rather than donning the Oh! I feel so helpless and sad cloak.

c) A closed mind - Towards people who tend to think very differently from you do.

If you still are finding it difficult to combat your own self doubt in the light of what they have said the following is very effective:-

a) Ask yourself if they people who have advising you have made it outrageously successful in life.

b) If no, you know the answer. If yes sincerely question yourself if you would also be happy doing the same things and leading the same life. No two people are alike and what feels great to you might feel atrocious to him

If you conscientiously follow these two steps believe me it would save you a lot of trouble heart ache and time.

And yes coming back to the title of our topic. Listen to your inner voice, It guides you through feelings. Deeply question yourself and see if you are justifying the wrong things. Avoid them as that paves way for spending the maximum moments of your life with enjoyment.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE FEELING STUCK AND HOPELESS

Been quite a while since I have written, my apologies to my readers as was a little busy lately. How original was that excuse? Have been meeting quite a few who have told me that nothing seems to be working in their life from time to time and that they are feeling quite despondent. It was then that I felt I could write something about the same. Something that I personally do.

To start with how many of you have been at a crossroads in life wherein you do not kind of know what exactly is happening? Things seem to go around in circles. There seems to be some improvement then suddenly a period where nothing seems to be working. Believe me I have faced so many that I have lost count.

Now when things seem to be happening and suddenly this road block comes up again, I have come up with something that makes me feel not only better but also nudges me in the direction of what it is that I want in life. (All this done under expert guidance and therefore not some fluffy self improvement stuff)This is what I do when I feel I am in an absolute impasse. And by impasse I mean a real impasse.

For eg:-
a) Recordings that were supposed to come up getting cancelled.
b) The phone numbers of friends being unreachable or switched off.
c) The feeling that I am wasting my life and going nowhere
d) Seeing far less talented people ( dont mean to sound vain) making
much more money
e) People calling me up and offering peanuts ( meaning nearly a
fraction 1/16 th of what I generally get paid)
f) My close ones comparing me with my peers and showing how badly
I am doing for myself.

This is just a small list of what keeps happening.
And this is the five step process as to how I counteract the feelings of hopelessness and sadness which am reasonably sure would be of great help to you.

IDENTIFYING PATTERNS:-

By this I mean taking accountability. From my previous articles you know I am a deep believer in creating ones destiny and not being bogged down by fate. I realize that there are certain patterns are repeating. For eg things just start getting good and it leaves my hand or in other words good things not going to their fruition. So this is a pattern I have. How do I get rid of it? Because if I do not do something about the same I will most likely forever be affected by a similar chain of events. If something similar happens to you in any area of your life sit down and think deeply about patterns being repeated.

RIDDING YOURSELF OF ENERGETIC BLOCKS:-

Dr Joe Vitale in his best seller THE ATTRACTOR FACTOR talks about the five step process of getting what you want in life. One of them is the step get clear . By this he means getting rid of energetic blocks within your system. Otherwise these blocks keep attracting a similar chain of events in your life. If all that I am saying is sounding stupid to you, you can be forgiven. If all this is sounding nonsensical that s fine. I felt the same. But the fact is there are many people like Dr Joe who are committed to making this world a better place to live in. I choose to believe in them because their teachings and writing inspire me indescribably and act as a safety net that catches me when I am down and struggling.

So back to our point. How do you get clear? There are quite a few methods available. But the one that I use is called EFT or the emotional freedom technique. You might have heard of it. You can download the free manual at www.emofree.com .Reading it was such a mind expanding experience for me. After that I was like Whoaa! There are such great ways to get rid of blocks that can hold you back and keep recreating events you DO NOT WANT

THE HOLY SHRINE:-

By this I mean taking about twenty minutes to half an hour a day to clearly identify what it is that I want in life and visualize it irrespective of what is happening to me right now. I also incorporate EFT into my time. Once you read the manual you would exactly get an idea as to how to customize it for your issues.

TAKING DAILY ACTION:-

No matter how bad my situation is there is always SOME SMALL STEP, some small thing that I can do to better my situation, like phoning a music director, practicing a new style of singing, watching an inspirational video, reading a biography about someone I want to model. Strangely after all that, at the end of the day I feel happy and satisfied that I have indeed been productive.

GRATITUDE:-

I make it a point to savor every moment in the day that I truly enjoy, even if it is as mundane as sipping a lovely cup of coffee, taking a refreshing walk, enjoying the cool breeze. I do this not as a chore but something that has been bestowed on me. After all such small things are blessings too. Why do we always relegate our happiness to some future event? Moreover this exercise makes me feel more blessed and happier. Dr Wallace Wattles, the author of the best seller The science of getting rich says the more you feel gratitude the more blessings flow into your life, an action and reaction principle.

I hope that the above has given you an idea of what I do when I feel the situation is absolutely hopeless. Guess it would help you too.

Warm wishes

REFLECTIVE MOMENTS

Last night I was taking a walk through some of the posh areas of cuffe parade (Bombay). It was a pleasant night, the July month generally is. My friend told me that he would come along with me but for some strange reason I wanted to go alone just to catch up with myself. It is so true that in moments of solitude great things reveal themselves to you. As I was walking along the quiet roads my mind kept on wandering over the many things that I had to do the following day.

I suddenly told myself Enough. Why not just take some time off to appreciate the wonderful breeze and the lovely swaying of the trees? Drink in the full beauty moment by moment and have gratitude with each breath that you take? After taking many deep breaths, things slowly started clearing in my head and my mind began to sift out all repetitive unnecessary thoughts that most surely are energy draining. I started thinking the following :-

a) Why spend so much time talking on the phone? Is this going to take you any closer to where you want in life? ( I used to spend close to around 2 hours on the phone per day and sacrifice the efficacy of my mind power exercises)

b) Why are you trying to get closer to that girl you met last month? Dont you have better things to do in terms of creating a meaningful day? If you only start jogging and exercising vigorously, your health and appearance would improve a great deal?

c) Instead of constantly trying to build huge muscle why not just focus on reducing the midriff considerably and never sway from that goal? So much for focus.

d) You want a lean body. Look at that old man over there! In case you keep procrastinating forever you will reach that age without ever achieving your dreams. If that is ok by you keep carrying on the way you are

I not only am grateful for all these thoughts and insights but I plan to act on them too. Its just a gentle suggestion from my side to all of you to have such moments of solitude from time to time to get a hold on where you are actually heading. Most of us have always felt at some point in time that time has just flown before we even knew it. Most of us have looked back and wondered where all the time went.

We of course cannot slow or stop the passage of time but what we CAN do is make our days far more meaningful and satisfying by allocating some time for ourselves so that our actions become crisper and direction filled.

IDENTIFY, LEARN AND POLISH UP THAT ONE TALENT

Simple as this may sound you wont believe how many people in life lose out because of missing out on this fact. I love cricket. Not that I watch every match closely but the matches that I do, I do with a keen interest and also take lessons out of them. Now what is this one talent I am talking about? Sounds vague is it not? Not really. Just be with me.

All of us have talents that are either waiting to be discovered / already discovered / discovered and well on their way to honing them further and further. From the many people I have met in life there seems to be a common thread in terms of one overriding factor that determines whether they are able to get ahead or lag behind. It actually boils down to keenly observing the successful and seeing what they are doing that you are not doing. How original was that? Please do not get mad at me. Theres more.

In the beginning I mentioned cricket. What has that got to do with all this? Plenty. In the recently concluded IPL (Indian premier league) and the ongoing T20 world cup (as on 18th June 2009) there was a lot one could learn.

a) The successful bowler was the one who could get the ball right in the block hole, the Yorker as it is popularly known. There was another interesting thing. There were bowlers who bowled Yorkers not only at the stumps but also outside the off stump. Mind you when this delivery is bowled well it makes it extremely difficult for the batsman to score off it. The Royal challengers Bangalore restricted their opponents in one match to a small total because of this very delivery.

b) The batsman who can pile up runs quickly is the one who hones his talent in scooping the ball over the fielders in the first 6 overs of the game.

c) The Successful captain knows whom to send when. MS Dhoni, Indias most successful captain failed in this regard in a crucial match. He sent a batsman in doubtful form and we were eliminated from the T20 world cup. The funny part was there were big hitters sitting padded up while critical balls were getting wasted. Needless to mention I was dumbfounded at such poor decision making. The overs ran out and we lost by three runs.

d) I see so many talented people in the film industry not getting their dues because they do not network. Many are under the assumption that as they are very skilful at their jobs they would somehow get noticed. I am constantly appalled when I see far less talented people get ahead because they network so well. The others consider it below their dignity to ask for work.

e) The successful singer is one who is also a good showman. Gone are the days when you can stand like a statue in front of the mike and sing. This is the era of performers.

I am sure by now you get the idea. If you are not getting what you feel you deserve, instead of getting frustrated, have a closer peek into what you might be avoiding. If nothing strikes you have a glimpse into what successful people are doing and most importantly observe and talk to people. Keep questioning and be relentless in seeking answers. If someone provides you a clue, instead of immediately dismissing it, if it even makes partial sense try it out. Though this might not be exactly what you need, it can provide the important first step.

It is my experience that when you focus on something constantly it shows up in your life. I have seen it happen more than once. It can be the same with you too.

IS IT NECESSARY TO GO THROUGH THE GRIND?

There have been two fascinating points of view on the same. One is that struggle is not natural. If you are in tune with the universal laws, things flow automatically to you and everything seems effortless. The other view says that it is necessary to go through the grind (downs) to actually appreciate the UPS of life.

Being the complex people we are, I feel that it is hard to pass a comment on either THIS or THAT. My humble point of view lies somewhere in between and I shall try to explain why I feel that way.

Let us take a consequence of the first view point. I have a friend who actually lives in the lap of luxury so to speak. She has everything a person might apparently want. A palace like house, very wealthy parents who are kind and encouraging, servants at her beck and call and the freedom to do what she wishes. She is quite good looking too. I have been in touch with her for more than a year. Whenever I speak to her, there is an unmistakable boredom in her voice. It is like there is so much she can do but there is nothing she feels like doing.

Needless to say I am stunned. And this is just one example. As human beings we are accustomed to taking things for granted. That trait is inbuilt in us. It is only when it is NOT there do we appreciate its full value. Many a time it is too late.

I cannot help thinking that if I had the same resources that she has, how much more I could do? This brings me to a vital point. There are people who are constantly in a state of struggle to go after what they want yet it seems to elude them for some reason whatsoever. I shall not delve into that as it is another topic. What happens is that many of them become bitter and hard from inside and develop a very pessimistic attitude. They envy the so called lucky people no end.

The solution lies clearly somewhere in the middle:

Be constantly grateful for what you have even if it is minimal and send thanks in advance for what it is that you want in your life. Revel in the fact that these tough times are going to make you enjoy your moments of glory so much better. Use techniques like mind power to attract what you want and follow it up with incessant action. You will get a ton of free information from www.learnmindpower.com.

When you finally get what you want, you will learn to treasure it like a mother treasures her new born baby. You would have learnt so much in the process (which the so called gifted few may never get to experience) and the chances of losing what you have earned would be remote indeed. (Unlike people who get what they want in a flash, become real arrogant and often lose it at the very same speed). Learn not to envy those who have seem to have more than you. I use the word seem because you will be far richer in terms of having experience and other intangible things.

THE SILVER LINING IN THE 26/11 TERROR ATTACKS

The recent terror attacks in Bombay have no doubt shaken the very roots of peace. That terrorists can just enter a city and fire indiscriminately in busy areas killing a huge number of people is testimony to the fact that our security system failed us miserably. But while writing this article I have not lost sense of my purpose. The main theme of this blog as you know is mindful and purposeful living.

No article in this site or blog is mentioned just for gossip purposes. There are a million sites that provide the same. My purpose is to uncover something precious even from an apparent catastrophe and write about the same. Behind all the furore and the grief and outrage there was something that popped up in my brain. Something so profound that it was disturbing.

As you all know there was one lone terrorist who was captured. All the terrorists were under thirty. Just take the case of normal twenty and thirty year olds. They are fired with ambition. They have dreams galore of becoming rich and obtaining all the pleasures of life, many of which money can buy, of having a family, raising beautiful children.

In contrast compare the minds of these terrorists who attacked Bombay. It is clear that most of them came to kill and then sacrifice their lives. Heart of hearts they knew that their chances of escaping alive were very very remote. Their sole aim was to spread terror.

The point is this. Nobody is born with a terrorist mindset. Curiosity, innocence and so many other adorable qualities are inherent in every child. Its mind is truly mould-able. When negatively programmed from a young impressionable age, are you able to see what horrendous outcomes are possible? (Many of these terrorists are taught violence from a very young age and are fed only negative thoughts). Not only were these terrorists prepared to end their lives, but they also derived immense pleasure from inflicting grievous injuries on innocent people. (A newspaper report claimed that one terrorist’s mouth creased into a smile before he opened fire)

In an age when youngsters just want to start their lives and make a difference, these guys wanted to end their lives. Note the word WANTED. They wanted to cause HARM on people who had not harmed them in any way. Whatever might be their logic, what they did was unpardonable and more importantly did not make any sense. That’s the point; their mind drove them to commit all these acts. When sufficient negative conditioning is present, people do things that we all consider insane and dastardly. What can we learn from this?

When such extreme results are possible in the negative end of the spectrum, is it not clear that extreme results are also possible in the positive end of the spectrum? Like doing our part to end poverty, spread joy and bliss in the MACRO level and achieving all our goals at the MICRO level? I did think that this was a very tall order in the beginning but now the same looks much easier to me.

Never for an instant underestimate what negativity can do to you. It creeps up on you insidiously and you often never know till it is too late. The message here is two pronged:-

a) Close your mind to negative thoughts and stop being associated with negative people as far as possible.

b) Imbue your subconscious with positive messages throughout the day. This will achieve spectacular and guaranteed results over a period of time just the same way these guys achieved destructive results.

THE MAGIC OF NOT GIVING UP

I can never ever forget the greatest ever run chase and consequently the greatest ever one day cricket match EVER played. Australia batted first and made 434 which is a ridiculously high target, the highest target EVER set. (For those of you not familiar with cricket, 230-240 is a modest score by normal standards and 300-330 is a fantastic one, almost match winning). The pressure on south Africa was an astounding 8+ runs per over from the very word go. What followed was SURREAL. The south Africans just refused to budge and started plundering runs from the very word go.

Many a time they faced setbacks and till the last moment one was not sure who would win. South Africa won and made 438. The commentator was mentioning “ricky ponting ( the Australian captain) is not able to believe that this has happened to him and his men”

Many of my friends were wowed and amazed at the victory but I wanted to take it one step deeper. Seeing the match for all that it is, is great, but what is more profound is the mind mechanics that goes on. I was wondering what the South Africans would have been thinking when they walked into bat against a team that has arguably one of the worlds best bowling attack. What giant focus they must have had? What a solid plan they must have had? And when things might go wrong, what the backup plan must have been? Most importantly how lion hearted must they have been to come up with such a victory?

Being a lover of tennis as well, I cannot but admire the way Rafael nadal the genius embodies the game. In all his matches I am awestruck at the way he wins seemingly impossible points. In one particular match between him and Fernando verdasco, also a Spaniard (the Australian semifinal 2009) there was a particularly long rally and many a time during the rally, it looked so obvious that verdasco would win the point. When ultimately nadal hit a winner facing overwhelming odds, THE WHOLE ARENA gave a standing ovation. The commentator mentioned lets stop the game right here, why continue? meaning that the game could not have risen any higher in standard!! Perhaps he also meant that it would be difficult to digest any more tennis. Even verdasco could not help but smile. It was just sublime.

Nadal has had a great influence on me. In my opinion look at people who have been the world number ones. Federer, Pete sampras, Agassi to name a few. Almost all of them have had booming serves. Their serve many a time has won them matches. Look at nadal the present world number one (as on June 11th. 2009). It was mentioned that his greatest frustration has been his serve which was not really attacking as compared to many of his peers. And as you might know, if you have a naturally attacking serve, it makes matters so simple.

How does he make up for that? By his supreme athleticism! And most importantly by his spirit that refuses to give anything but the best each and every time, which rebounds back even after many have mocked at him after some of his apparent defeats. When Jo Wilfred Tsonga thrashed him in the 2008 Australian open semifinal (if my memory is right) many thought that was his end. So comprehensively was he beaten. As his ardent fan, even I was shaken. But what followed? In just a few months, I read that he has defeated Tsonga in another tournament. I could only shrug in amazement.

I feel impelled to quote something from the book Retire Young Retire Rich by Robert Kiyosaki, one of my favorite authors. He mentions that just because there are people who are smarter than you or have a head-start in life, it does not mean that you cant win the race. If you keep making progress on a daily basis and do things that most people don’t like to do, the race of life will be yours. I remind myself about this on every possible occasion when things keep getting tough or when I am forlorn.

In times of deep personal doubt when things are not going my way, I cannot but think about this genius who has so positively influenced my life. I just leave you with this thought of mine. When people all around the world can do it and we see so much evidence of the same, does it not make sense to learn from them and incorporate the same into our lives?

When things don’t go the way you wish, just remember that this is something that happens to many people. How you handle it is what makes all the difference! As Robert kiyosaki so beautifully puts it in his book Rich dad Poor dad Failure defeats losers and Failure inspires winners. That is the secret that losers do not know of. Heres wishing you all the very best that life has to offer.

THE POWER OF LOVE

The one emotion that rules the world is what many say. I was lucky to witness enough evidence of the same way back in 1999. This is one emotion that lends supernatural power to people almost making a mockery of the law of probability. The purpose of this article is only to share with you what a profound feeling this is in helping you achieve what you want. Permit me to share two instances of what I intend to convey.

In 1999 there was this friend of mine who was preparing for an MCA (master of computer applications) entrance exam course in one of the premier colleges of the country. The chances of getting in were astoundingly remote. Just to give you an estimation, around 34000 students appear for the exam throughout the country. Just 30 are selected. And even in this thirty there are quotas for certain castes and tribes (defence quota, sports quota and stuff like that), the exact details of which I am not very familiar with. All in all there are only about 15 seats for the main category, I mean the open quota.

When my friend told me that he had his eyes set on getting a seat here, I was tongue tied. I never being a person to defeat anyones spirits wished him all the best. Now there is something else you need to know, this guy loved a girl with all his heart and he was just an arts graduate. In 1999 the prospects for an arts graduate were not very exciting. When he expressed his desire to marry the girl, her parents were justifiably worried. They conveyed to him in no uncertain terms that unless he gets a professional degree and shows proof of his earning capability they would not consider his proposal. Now there are many colleges that offer an MCA course but very few that guarantee immediate jaw dropping placements. This college was one of them and it met all his requirements ( prospects wise, location wise, culture wise etc). The downside was the excruciatingly slim chance of getting inside.

It is important to know that even people endowed with phenomenal analytical abilities, many a time have been humbled in this exam. I remember seeing people who learn new computer languages and write complex codes in a jiffy and remember being awed of their abilities. While they would be writing such complex programs, I would struggle with the most rudimentary basics and syntax. Clearly they were superiorly endowed. But such people fail to get through too. The very fact that you have to be one among the 15 out of the 30000 plus people who appear is reason enough to defeat the toughest spirit. Another important thing to know is that my friend was definitely above average but by no means superiorly endowed. You know what I mean? The stuff that geniuses are made of!!

What followed in the coming months was truly amazing. Since I was his close friend I had the opportunity of knowing what he was doing on a day to day basis. Except his sleeping time which was around 7 hours or so (for peak performance and to combat the ill effects of fatigue) his eating time (and other activities) which was around an hour and a half and his brief exercise time which was about half an hour, the guy was always at his books, solving problems and sharpening his analytical and mathematical skills to a razors edge. He was unaware of the world and what was going on. So much so his parents thought that something strange had happened to their son. I used to talk to him briefly before he retired and he would tell me all what he did. The effect was that I started getting amazed at his determination as days went by. Keeping up that superhuman commitment and tenacity for a period of 5 months is enough to give me goose pimples even today.

Needless to say I was the first to wish him on the day of the exam and I was about every bit as nervous as he was. Watching him from such close quarters aroused in me a deep feeling that he deserved to get in. He wrote the exam came out and I immediately phoned him. He was kind of non reactive as to how he did the exam, Ok, was his reply. I immediately felt my heart sink. I felt that if THIS was his reaction, the probability of his getting inside was really non existent. Had he done fantastically he would have been jumping for joy is it not?

It was with a heavy heart that I carried on my daily activities. We did meet after that but strangely enough we hardly talked about the same. The guy had also changed and he had become taciturn and withdrawn. I, totally understanding his feelings never broached this topic too.

Days passed by. The results were now just a week away and frankly I didnt want to go with him as I could not bear to see him break down (me being on the sensitive side). When I called him he told me “Boss! The results are not put up here but they are put up in another college”

(those days the internet was not very popular and the results used to be stuck on boards in certain venues). It was a torrid day and the poor guy had to cycle there which was another 3-4 kms away. Later in the evening, he calls me up and says ” jai! Keep yourself free for the evening. We are going out for dinner. I have GOT IT BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

There are moments in this life which take our breath away and this surely was one of them. My whole being reverberated with joy, gratitude and supreme happiness. I literally screamed. Man!! THIS is what you call an achievement. For a moment I had to put my feet on the ground to actually convince myself that this was reality.

Later while having dinner, I asked him what gave him the power to endure such superhuman hardship and pain. (Oh yes! I forgot to mention that this guy had some misunderstanding with her family and hence both were not even allowed to talk to each other and every action of hers was closely monitored. My friend never had even the pleasure and comfort of talking to her.) He told me clearly “whenever I felt my spirit giving in and my enthusiasm waning, I used to imagine her lovely face in front of me egging me to carry on. I could not imagine losing her to another guy. I could not ever see sadness in her face when i tell her that I had not got through. That very thought was like the strongest shot of a drug that jolted me from fatigue to hope.

Wow!!!! Was my reaction and I am still wowed to this day. It is my feeling that without the power of love our dreams wouldnt have any real meaning.

The second instance is much shorter and less flamboyant sounding. But it has touched a deep cord in me. Outside the kitchen where I stay in Mumbai there is a pigeon that laid an egg. After that for days and nights together it was on top of that hatching it presumably. In the night at 3 when I used to get up for water it was there. During lunch time it was there, when I used to make tea for myself it was there. There were other pigeons that used to come there too. When I used to open the sliding glass door all others would fly away but this one would still sit there. And yes. There used to be a hint of terror in its eyes that was so adorable.

Wherefrom came that indescribable tenacity to sit for days and days in JUST ONE POSITION? Wherefrom came the courage to stick on even though I frightened it no end? I guess it is only love that can lend such power. (Fear can perhaps do the same thing but its usually for destructive ends.)

These two (of course there must be many more) instances especially are the ones that I have witnessed from close quarters and which have imbued in me a deep respect for the power of love. Miracles ??? No big deal really!

To your happiness,

Jai

CHOICES THAT CAN DRAMATICALLY IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH - PART 2

I sincerely hope that Part 1 helped my readers at least a little bit. Here are some more things that I am sure would have a positive impact on your health. Enjoy

HAVE AT LEAST 2 -3 GREEN DRINKS DAILY

This is based on the fact that when our body is more alkaline, there is energy and when it leans towards the acidic side it is prone to diseases. Most of the body’s organs run on the 70 Mhz energy range. The food that we consume like cakes and pastries are not only acidic, their energy is only about 1 Mhz. Alcohol is about the maximum acid product that you can intake.

So what are green drinks? Green drinks are made from green foods like wheatgrass and spinach. (You can get a more exhaustive list from the net) I personally buy spinach as I find it tough to procure wheatgrass here in Chennai. I buy palak, grind it to powder and mix it with water and have. The taste is very pleasant, quite close to that of water. Green drinks have an energy of around 350 Mhz.

By the way I tell you this information I garnered from one of my cyber mentors Mr Kacper M. Postawski. I read his report “How to have unstoppable energy and free yourself from any disease” and was simply blown away by the information. I urge you to read the same. Shall give you the link soon. So make your body as alkaline as you can and drink at least 2 green drinks a day (what kacper recommends).

NEVER SKIP YOUR TWO LITRES (MINIMUM) OF WATER A DAY.

This is because water provides a major source of alkalinity in your body and if you are dehydrated your blood cells clump together and have great difficulty reaching your vital organs (again taken from the report I read)

HAVE A REGULAR WEIGHT TRAINING PROGRAM

This is something that I feel strongly about, not because the others are any less important but because there is a fair deal of misconception surrounding this. Many believe that they get bulky and feel that it is only for bodybuilders. The benefits of weight training are so many that I cannot understand why people aren’t doing it. To name a few:

a) Lifting weights beautifies your shape. No you wont get bulky. Gaining muscle is a very long and arduous process. With weight training your body is firmed up and the shape changes. If your body is shaped like a pear, with a lot of aerobics you can make it look like a smaller pear, but weight training gives you definition and makes you look a whole lot better
b) It increases muscle mass which in turn increases your metabolism considerably in the long run. Slow metabolisms are the reason you see people out of shape though they eat pitifully less.
c) It protects you against brittle bones and fractures. When your bones are stronger you are less prone to fractures and conditions like osteoporosis.

DO PRANAYAM FOR A PERIOD OF 15 MINS AT LEAST:

I must admit that I am guilty of not doing this regularly. The benefits of pranayam are many. The body becomes healthy and strong, the skin and hair lustrous, improved energy levels and much much more. What is the reason behind all these? The reason is that every cell in the body requires oxygen in plenty to function at its peak. When this does not happen, our body becomes prone to all sorts of diseases.

Now due to our improper lifestyle, eating habits and breathing ways, the cells in most people are deprived of oxygen. (How many people have you seen breathe deeply and fully?) Most of our breathing is shallow and superficial. The life force within us does its best to compensate for our faulty ways of living, but when this is carried on for long periods of time, our body succumbs. (Cancer for example is a case of cells going crazy and multiplying in abnormal ways).

The best way to combat this is to do deep breathing for at least 15 minutes daily. Andre Van Lysebeth in his beautiful book “Yoga self taught” says that the health benefits of proper and deep breathing are INCALCULABLE. You can find complete information on how to do pranayam at

http://www.divyayoga.com/freePranayamTraning.htm

Of course these are the things that strike me at the moment and those which I do. Am sure there are many more that one can do to become vibrant and full of energy. As I come across them and apply them to my life (only what I experience personally would be shared).

Have a wonderful life,

To your health,
Jai

CHOICES THAT CAN DRAMATICALLY IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH - PART 1

The amount of information available on the net these days as regards what makes you healthy and what does not is staggering. Even on issues like alcohol, it is said that small amounts are good. Many a time people carry this to an extreme and start getting drunk. You cannot believe how many families I have seen suffer and get ruined because of this alcohol habit. Since health is by itself a topic that is as large as the ocean it is impossible to give you an exhaustive list of what to do and what not to do.

So what? There is a good alternative. If I tell you a few things that you can follow on a regular basis and which would result in a huge boost in your health and energy levels, would that not suffice? These are things that I personally do. For the following mind you there is no debate. The verdict is final. It is either beneficial or very harmful.

AVOID SUGAR LIKE THE PLAGUE OR REDUCE IT TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT POSSIBLE

I was reading in one of the articles about how refined sugar that we get in the market these days is truly a poison. It has NO NUTRITIVE CONTENT whatsoever and is taken purely for taste. What is the alternative? I for one have not researched on the sugar alternatives that are there in the market and therefore do not wish to comment on the same. But I can tell you that honey is a fantastic alternative. Apart from having curative properties aplenty it beats sugar by miles in terms of taste. (the exception to this is when you are training intensively with weights much like a bodybuilder and you need sugar at the end of your workout as simple carbs, but that is another topic altogether)

When I substituted honey in my soymilk instead of sugar, it felt like heaven. 2-3 teaspoons honey in 200 ml natural soymilk is one of the most delectable drinks I have ever had. You see honey has a very unique flavor and even the occasional coffee that I drink acquires a glorious taste with honey added. You can find the health benefits of honey( too many to mention) at

http://www.bees-online.com/HealthBenefitsOfHoney.htm
http://www.benefits-of-honey.com/health-benefits-of-honey.html

SHOULD MEAT BE CONSUMED?

In my previous articles I gave a different twist to this topic telling why I felt it was not correct to ingest meat. There was a spiritual quotient too there but here I propose to focus solely on the health aspect. In page 67 of Fitness trainer magazine (May 2008 issue) it was mentioned that the consumption of meat encourages tumor formation. Do you really want to take that risk?

Believe me, there are very very few meat providers who see that their animals are tended to lovingly, who see that nutritious food is given to them and who keep them in clean and happy environments. For many of them it is just a business and the conditions these animals are reared in are horrifying.
Do you sincerely believe that ingesting such animals who are mentally and physically subjected to such violent abuse would have no effect on you?

What is the alternative then?

I was an avid consumer of non vegetarian food. I lurrvvveeed the taste and used to eat so much that people around me sometimes got alarmed. Now of course I do not touch meat for various reasons. I found that most people cannot give up meat primarily for taste reasons.

The alternative in my opinion is to have Dishes like paneer Manchurian, paneer chilly and gobi Manchurian. Though they do not give you the exact taste, they come a close second and once you get used to the taste, you would not feel the difference ( paneer is a good source of protein too) When I ate Chinese food I sorely used to miss the meaty feeling along with fried rice after I gave up meat. I am more than happy now as the above mentioned dishes really offer satiety. Again remember, your mindset must be to find an excuse to give up meat as much as possible. I am NOT an animal rights activist. I am far more concerned about the future of my readers who are avid meat eaters.

AN EASY WAY TO REDUCE YOUR CHOCOLATE CONSUMPTION IF YOU WANT TO:

Interacting with many teenagers gave me a glimpse into how actually how much we all like chocolate. Adults too are no exception but teenagers and youngsters especially indulge themselves as they can get away with it.

The good news is that a piece of dark chocolate or two is good for health because of the anti oxidants that it contains. But the way many of us eat is far from this. Milk chocolate is consumed in large amounts. Now an easy way to reduce the same:-

When you feel the urge, have a bite of chocolate and wait for around 10 mins to half an hour. You would fine the taste slowly waning and a disagreeable taste slowly creeping in. It is easier now to refrain from eating the remaining bar. If you do this procedure often enough it becomes easier and easier to reduce the quantity of chocolate. This works for chocolate cakes too.

You could opt for muesli and other nutrition bars. They are tasty and are actually better options.

MASTICATION IS THE WAY TO GO

When I started chewing my food well I experienced a pleasure I had never known. While before I needed a variety of foods to satisfy my palate now just a simple curd rice and vegetable tastes like kingly fare. While before I needed a full plate of fried rice and 2 huge bowls of side dishes to mitigate my hunger, I was thoroughly satisfied with half a plate of fried rice and half to three fourths plate of vegetable (almost one third). An added benefit apart from the improved taste was the feeling of having enjoyed my food without feeling bloated heavy and lethargic. My weight dropped by nearly 7 kgs.

All these benefits came just from one act. Chewing my food really well. Now the complete method:

a) This is the most important step. Wait till you have genuine hunger. Do not confuse this with appetite which comes at a specific time. Your subconscious knows when and announces the same through a sensation called hunger. It is easy to differentiate between the two. With appetite comes a desire to eat all exotic foods, plain foods do not seem attractive, whereas with genuine hunger even plain foods seem delicious.

b) Sit on the table WITHOUT any distractions like the TV. Most importantly resolve not to talk a lot while eating. It is this habit that can make the habit of chewing well very difficult to follow. We are apt to gulp down our food and talk. Do the talking later on.

c) Be grateful for the food in front of you. It is no unknown thing that hunger is so widespread especially among the underdeveloped countries.

d) Take a portion of your food and chew it well till it becomes a liquid and passes down automatically through your throat. You need not actually count the number of times but in my opinion roughly around 50 times per mouthful is what it takes. Could be even lesser. Concentrate fully on the taste of the food and refuse to think about anything else except that in front of you.

e) Stop when you stop feeling the hunger pangs. Eating till you are replete is not a good idea

You must not think otherwise. This habit is not so easy to follow. It is difficult to get rid of the deeply ingrained habit of gulping down your food. But once you start doing this you will NEVER go back to your old ways, especially when you start seeing the health benefits and yes the taste of food too.

In the next article I shall offer some more choices that you could incorporate into your lifestyle. It would help you a lot and that is a promise

BEING CHEAP OR FRUGAL?

So many of us go through phases in life where we are financially stretched and count every penny we spend. For those lucky few born in really affluent families and whose every need is met, this topic might not strike such a deep chord. I sure have been through such times. This topic might also seem very childish and naïve to many. But it is surprising how many people in fact act CHEAPLY and then wonder why success eludes them.

Being an avid believer in the power of the subconscious mind, I have come to believe the fact that the way we ACT has a huge impact on it. This is because the subconscious mind looks for proof. You can mouth affirmations all day but if your actions are otherwise, it doesn’t count for much. When we act from a place of scarcity and want, the subconscious takes this as a fact and brings about similar situations. Many a time I have affirmed many things which have NOT come to fruition because I realized that my actions were contrary to what I wanted.

Like many other topics this might not be life changing and profound but it does have a deep impact on our life.

There is no hard line dichotomizing cheapness and frugality but we can rely on our inner feelings to show us the way. Since this topic does not lend itself to theory and can be illustrated best by examples, I shall adopt the same route.

a) Going to a shop seeing a pair of beautiful slippers but not having the money to buy but at the same time knowing that they are not a desperate necessity and that you will buy them for certain when your cash inflow is better is being frugal. Going with your friend to a restaurant (which you wanted to go to) and just going to wash your hands when the bill arrives in the hope that your friend will pay is being cheap.

b) Deciding that you actually do not NEED to call a certain friend now (when your cell phone balance is low) is being frugal. Sending a message to him requesting him to call back as your balance is low is also being frugal. Giving him a call and then cutting the conversation midway in the hope that he will call again is being cheap.

c) Taking a loan from a friend when you are in dire need and paying him back in installments instead of the promised lump sum amount (because you are so financially stretched) is being frugal. Avoiding his calls, using the loan amount to buy what you may really not need at the moment is being cheap.

The examples can go on and on. How do you differentiate? There is a very simple method. When you are frugal there is a sense of dissatisfaction because you are not in a position to buy the things you want. All the same there is an inner peace that prevails as you know that you are true to your principles. There is no fear from within. And if you practice mind power and positive thinking, you realize that this is just a passing cloud.

Whereas when you are cheap there may not be dissatisfaction because you are in a taking-advantage-of-others mode but there is a small sense of fear inside. What if your intentions are spotted? In addition to this if you ask yourself if it is acceptable if someone else does the same to you, your answer would be a resounding no. The simple reason being at your deepest level you know what you are doing is not acceptable and the main reason your doing it is because you are in a position to and you feel you can get away with it.

There is another main reason why you must not be cheap. Your subconscious mind which is a part of your highest self is above all these things. When you habitually act from a position of cheapness for some reason you fail to become great. When I was a struggling singer, there were a few people who took advantage of that fact and made me sing for free. On top of this they pocketed my money too from the producer. Talk about being cheap. Logically they must have amassed great wealth by now as they did it with other singers too. They are nowhere in the industry now. Added to this they have practically ZERO goodwill.

There are others who were really fair in their dealings. Many of them have risen to great heights. Well, some of them have not too but they have earned a lot of good will and are well on their way to becoming successful.

In short being frugal and cheap is a lot like the difference between being broke and poor. One state is temporary, the other is permanent. {I am a total believer in infinite abundance and obviously not an advocate of frugality for life. But many a time we pass through this stage before attaining great wealth} In the interim question yourself whether you act cheaply or frugally.The answer can help you immeasurably.

VALUING PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU

Just some time back I watched this really fascinating movie called sliding doors. I am basically not fond of action movies. When I was in my teens, I had more than a fair share and now it seems like an ordeal to sit that long. I have developed however an intense liking for films that relate most closely to daily life.

The heroine of this film loves her man so much that she works in a restaurant while he sits at home under the pretext of writing a novel which seems to go on forever. In the meanwhile this guy has an affair with another lady and one day when she (the heroine) comes home early, she is shell shocked to find her man in the arms of another lady. On top of it, this other lady tells her I am carrying his baby. I am sorry that you have to come to know of it this way.

As the movie went on, a potpourrie of feelings unfolded so beautifully. So many things struck me. How many of us wound people who mean the world to us just because we were tempted to do certain things at a particular time? The guy in the movie had all the time in the world to have a roaring affair and could not resist temptation. He did what was most pleasant to him. Had his girl thought of the same, then?? I know of so many girls who would not even interact with guys who do not have a steady source of income and no immediate future. Not only did the heroine of this film love him, but she also put herself through great inconvenience to see that he was kept in comfort so that he could FULFILL HIS DREAMS.

I have interacted with people who keep jumping from one relationship into another just for the fun of it just not caring what the other person goes through. It was scary to note that these people almost become incapable of loving. All that matters to them is their own happiness and pleasure.

The guy in the movie was an inveterate liar and completely disregarded she did for him. Watching the same was disturbing. Eventually when they split, he slowly realizes that she was irreplaceable.

In an attempt to win her back he tells her more lies. On top of this, his already depraved soul is not able to come out of the second relationship and all sorts of double standard games are played. To cut a long story short, the heroine of the movie finds a wonderful warm caring man and the other guy loses the other lady too. I understand that it is only a movie but what struck me was that I have seen almost exact instances in real life. Often when we realize things they are too late. This article is not about having affairs.

We take so many things for granted. There are acts which we do without thought and regret later. One way to refrain from doing such things is to contemplate what consequences it might have and then honestly answer if we could take it if similar things are done to us! How many of us treasure and really cherish what our loved ones do for us? How many of us go through discomfort to see that the people who mean the world to us are kept happy? What is the use getting all the wisdom when it is too late? Something to ponder about.